Many women choose work over kids

BONN, GERMANY -- Germany, like the United States, can't seem to decide whether the role of women is to work or to stay home and raise kids.

 So it trains women for good jobs -- and then offers them incentives to stay home and be full-time moms.

 It's Germany's way of supporting family values -- of giving new mothers the opportunity to devote themselves to their children, say government officials. But some German mothers, while grateful for the option, argue that sometimes the cards seems to be stacked in favor of the hearth.

 "Women don't want to stay home anymore," said Ruth Siebler, director of the Division of Reconciling Work and Family, a new division of the Ministry of Families, Seniors, Women and Youth.

 "Plus women have good credentials. Often they think they have to choose between work and family. There was a fear they would choose work. That's why this division was created."

 Carolina Polch illustrates how the system works. Polch, 30, benefited from thousands of dollars in free education and training. She graduated from a three-year apprenticeship program to become a bilingual secretary. Bright and articulate, she then went on to college and will soon hold a teaching degree.

 She shares a trendy apartment in Bonn with her husband Armin, a police investigator who also went through the apprenticeship system.

 But after she gave birth to her daughter in 1994, Polch -- like all German mothers -- was given 14 weeks of paid maternity leave, one year of unpaid leave from her job, and a guarantee she could have her job back if she returned to work.

 She also received about $420 a month for child-raising -- another way of encouraging new mothers to stay home. She received the full benefit until her daughter, Milena, was 6 months old. After that it was reduced to about $320, payable until Milena was 2, because it became linked to family income.

 But when Polch began working full time last summer, the benefit dropped to about $70 a month, she said. She also saw jaws drop when she went back to her office, where she works as an executive secretary.

 "In my office, I'm almost the only woman working full time with a child," said Polch, when interviewed in December. "My co-workers say they don't understand me. They say, "Why don't you take one of those four-hour-a-day jobs?

 "But I wouldn't be happy. I've studied so much. And I like to be with other people too."

 There are other hurdles facing mothers who want to work. Most elementary schools close around 1 p.m., creating a child-care gap. A new law that would have guaranteed kindergarten places for children 3 and older was postponed until 1997. Job hours usually aren't flexible, so it's tough for women to work around their husbands' or other schedules.

 The social and financial lures of home finally tipped the scales for Polch. Last month she cut her full-time hours to part-time -- like the vast majority of German women. She now receives a different government stipend, called kindergeld, about $140 a month to make up for lost wages.

 "Sometimes I think they don't want women to work full time," said Polch. "But the good part is I can spend more time with my daughter. Plus I have time to clean and do other things."

 Germany's family benefits do more than simply improve the well-being of children and families. They're also designed to boost birth rates, say German officials, who worry that younger workers won't be able to pay for the social benefits for its growing senior population.

 They also help prevent unemployment ranks from growing even further, they said.

 "We have policies that allow mothers and fathers to decide how they want to live," said Siebler, adding that the parenting leave is available to either father or mother. "They can decide whether one wants to stay at home or work." 

Joey McLeister

Carolina and Armin Polch play with their daughter, Milena. Carolina is among thousands of German women wh have received job training and a good education and who are torn between work and family.

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